Day 18, Dad, etc
Went over to the hospital to see dad – left Sasha at home and she’s not been used to that, so she was super lovvie when i got home. Dad’s insensible and on oxygen and antibiotics. I sat and talked to him for a while, then came home. Was quite upsetting. what’s upsetting me the most is that when Mother went into a coma with her cancer—luckily she only had about a week of really bad pain—they (and i understand this is standard practice, but it’s ghastly) withdrew food and fluids and basically she starved and dehydrated to death. I still haven’t got over that, it haunts me—and I don’t think I can bear that with dad, although I obviously won’t have any say in the matter. I don’t get that doctors can kill patients in this way, but aren’t allowed to give an overdose.
Anyway – carb-wise, today has been a DISASTER. I’m already over 50. I went into Mcds drive in on the way to the hospital and got a McTasty, threw the bun away and ate the lettuce, tomato, meat, cheese and bacon. I felt smug, like I’d put one over on McD’s by having a zero carb (near enough, the cheese possibly made it 1) lunch. But I made the mistake of having a fruit smoothie.
firstly – BOY can you taste the sugar after nearly 3 weeks of low carb – it was delicious (far far too delicious) but omg so fucking sweet. and secondly – 49 CARBS!!! WHAT A MORON I AM. I should have had a fruitizz – they are “only” 25g of carbs. I do love fruit drinks. I can give up pasta, but I MISS MY FRUIT.
So, I’m assuming that one just continues after a disaster, rather than try and cut back tomorrow. day 18 eh? *proud*